Suit and Tie

???WHAT IS IT ABOUT A MAN IN A [SUIT&TIE] THAT IS SO DAMN SEXUAL???

Quick backgound: I go to A LOT of conferences for work. A LOT. The majority of the time, I fall into the small percentage of women attending and am definitely the youngest. So, this past week I was attending a conference for business and while sitting in the back row, falling asleep - daydreaming....listening, yaaa listening...I couldn't help but notice all these sexual silver foxes in business suits and it got me thinking....

Physically, a suit shapes the body. It defines their (hopefully broad) shoulders, slims the middle (unless they look like Santa Claus) and stops bluntly at the waist, right above that tight ass. Doesn't help that there is always a tie and button up shirt that I imagine ripping off....a little 50 shades for ya.

Let us not forget about the surreal men of Hollywood rocking the suit & tie.

• Justin Timberlake - if I didn't shout him out, the world might have stopped. 
• George Clooney
• Brad Pitt 
• Ryan Gosling - this one is for you ladies...
• Will Smith
• Matt Bomber - P.S. Dear Matt, What do the gays have that I don't? Sincerely, a sad straight girl :( 
• Ryan Reynolds - one of my personal favorites....yum....
• President Obama 
• Frank Sinatra 
• John Stamos
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Even fictional characters in suits are hawwwtttt...

• James Bond
• Don Draper 
• Christian Grey - Remember, we only have our own creative interpretation of what he looks like floating around in our head and it still is...phew...can't even talk about it. 
• Barney Stinson - You know that Ducky Tie turns you on, don't lie.  
• Clark Kent 
• Iron Man 
• And every GQ model - cause let's be honest, they CAN'T be real life. 

Psychologically speaking, I started to question WHY men wear suits & WHY those reasons were stimulating.

Hold on to your panties ladies.

Some thoughts are pretty straight-forward. When I see a suited man, I think he is successful. Not just financially but in life.
I see ambition, skills, structure, knowledge, control and ya, I can't lie, wealth.

Going back to original motivation for my daydream, the silver fox. He's older, more experienced, a mystery almost. His 5:00 shadow is creeping up and he has a look on his face like he's craving a 100-year old scotch.

I know what you're thinking....a suit and tie can't magically transform an ugly duckling into an elegant swan...but that is OK! Just stand a good distance away, squint one eye and tilt you're head. BOOM! Sexual all over again.

Heyyy Fellas -- What about you? Do you think a woman perfectly fitted in a pant or dress suit is sexual? If so, what is it? A ton of celebrity women have adorned a suit on the red carpet. Who wore it best? Blake Lively is always wearing some combo. Doesn't do it for you? Why not!?

ANYWAYS!



MORAL OF THE STORY: Get suited and booted. It's a look that no one can turn down. The sophistication will drip off you like dew in the morning.

I heard a quote somewhere, "a well tailored suit for women is lingerie for men", and I couldn't agree more.

Pepper and Avocado Quesadilla (Wrap)

I am writing this post in pure bliss. I just finished one of my favorite homemade lunches. It was so good I had to start taking pictures and let you in on this delicious yet quick meal.

Oh, and I am a Trader Joe's fanatic so almost everything used in this recipe is from TJs but you can get all of the ingredients at your favorite store. I'll mark those ingredients I have only been able to find at TJs & you can see pics below.

Quick spray of EVOO cooking spray
1 Brown Rice Tortilla Wrap, TJ (130 calories)
1 Laughing Cow Cheese wedge (35 calories)
1/4 cup of shredded cheese (80 calories)
1/4 red pepper or 3 mini red peppers, chopped finely (11 calories)
1/4 cup of banana peppers or peppercinis (less than 10 calories)
1 Tbsp Red pepper & Eggplant Spread, TJ (only 15 calories per tbsp & packed with flavor!)
1/2 avocado, chopped (125-150 calories)
1 Tbsp Hummus Dip - for dipping (40 calories)

1. After prepping your veggies, spray your flat pan or large skillet with EVOO cooking spray and turn the burner on medium.
2. Spread the red pepper spread and cheese wedge on the whole tortilla and lay it flat on pan.
3. Add the shredded cheese, all peppers and avocado on one side of the tortilla.
4. Once the tortilla becomes warm and flexible, fold the tortilla over and let melt.
5. Flip several times to desired crispyness. - yes I just used the word crispyness.
6. Once it's done, top or dip in hummus & enjoy!

Feel on those Titties.

No seriously, you should feel them. 

Your own of course. I don't recommend feeling someone else's unless they allow it. But if you do, let me know how that goes. I could use a laugh!


Breast health is extremely important. Get mammograms and regular checkups but most importantly, do self breast exams EVERY MONTH! 

You think it can't happen to you because we are all our own versions of Superman or Wonder Woman. 

But it can. 

Before I start preaching, I'll tell you my story. Quickly. 

1 year ago today, I had surgery to take out a lump in each one of my breasts. 

Let me back up even further.

....a couple months before my surgery, I was minding my own business...watching T.V. at home, chatting with my roommates while scratching my boob (too much info? Sorry) Anyways, boob scratching & I found a hard lumpy thing on one side. I went straight to the bathroom & basically hulked my shirt off and was feeling myself....not in the good way...I found another one on the other side... 

WTF!

I was seriously NOT trying to freak out but I couldn't help it. I poked, prodded, squeezed, cried, hyperventilated & calmed back down again all in about 3 minutes. 

Called the doctor & set up an appointment for the next morning while I was frantically doing research on WebMD trying to figure out what my new friends could be besides the "C" word. Word of advice: just don't. DO NOT use WebMD. Not only did I have the "C" word after looking at WebMD but I basically convinced myself I only had 24 hours to live. A little nuts but can you blame me? 

Oh & get this! I had gone to my girly doctor about 2-3 months before finding these boob roommates, my regular doctor about 1 month before that and well I did have a steady boyfriend at the time & I'll just leave it at that. I kept thinking how comfortable I am with my body and how I should have known these suckers were growing! How did I just find them? 

LONG STORY SHORT. Can I even use that phrase this far into a post? 

Anyways, LONG STORY SHORT, the doctors believed these lumps from hell were "Fibroedenomas" which are benign tumors. Benign meaning not cancerous or malignant. But it wasn't that easy. The doctors were unable to get a biopsy to see if they actually were cancerous or not & I didn't want these new sidekicks of mine to hang around to find out. So surgery it was.

Those buddies of mine did end up being non-cancerous, thank God. Now all I have left of them are two scars...which I was self-conscious about for almost a year until I realized how ridiculous it was to be ashamed of them. My boobs are great! The surgery didn't change them at all, just added a little scar for character.
My scars are my tiger stripes! I earned them dammit.

Love my boobs....and Vegas....

This experience proved to me how quickly life can change. How much we, or I, took my life for granted. How precious life really is. Live your life to the fullest, you never know when you can be smacked in the face by a harsh reality.

So back to my preaching....feel your breasts. Doesn't matter how old you are. Doesn't matter your family history. Doesn't matter if you are a female or male (guys, you can get breast cancer too!) FEEL THEM UP! It could save your life. 


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I want to thank a certain person that I went to high school with, dealing with cancer himself right now. He has been so open with his diagnosis and has shared so much with his Facebook friends. If it wasn't for his preaching, I probably would not be writing this post right now. He showed me it's okay not to be insecure about this issue and to share it with the world so that my experience may help another.
For that, thank you Steven.

#SINGLEGIRLPROBLEMS

...pretty self-explanatory...

I'll be the first to admit it. Being single isn't always bubblegum, rainbows and unicorns. Here's my list of #problems that I have encountered because of my singleness & I believe other single ladies have experienced also (maybe even single guys?) 

Mom, I hope this is one of those posts that you missed....and if you are reading this right now...you may want to stop. Love you xoxo. 

(also applies to other family that may still see me as a 12 year old girl) 

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#SINGLEGIRLPROBLEMS: 

1. Forcing yourself to shave your legs every weekend just in case you meet a hot guy. 

2. You must sexifiy your work out. 

Cause you can't look like you're about to poop your pants while doing squats cause there is one hot guy casually staring your direction...even though he's probably not looking at your face at all. 

3. Setting up a date for yourself with a guy you may not be extremely interested in because: 

A. You're bored and don't have another date or B. You're broke & your fridge is bare. 

4. Having a date think you're overly obsessed with your dog because...

5. You take a 100 pictures of your dog. Just because

6. Refusing to watch Disney movies, romantic comedy or listening to Taylor Swift because it's all bullshit. 

(besides the Breakup of course) 

7. Saving your cute panties for the weekend...not that some of my panties aren't cute.

8. When one of your girlfriends buys you a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend sponge" as a gag gift.

9. Or buys you this ---------->

9. When you order dessert at a restaurant and refuse to share it because you don't have to & YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! 

10. You buy the biggest container of peanut butter you can because you've realized that using your finger as a spoon somehow makes it go faster ??? 

11. You can't help but feel like a 12-year old while listening to Justin Timberlake's new album because this is the closest you've felt to love at first site in far too long. 

12. You watch Jersey Shore reruns because it makes you feel better about yourself when Snooki was still trashy and single too.

13. Even though the guy hitting on you at the bar is BEYOND wasted, you still stand next to him for longer than you should & take the compliments 

14. You get dating website advertisements on your Facebook page. Yes, that picture is real life & yes, it was on my Facebook page. That really happened. More than once.

15. DRY SPELL

16. Every single friend, family member, co-worker and even the stranger in the bank tries to set you up on a blind date. 

17. You GO on the blind date said acquaintance set you up on because of #15. 

18. Sneaking your guy friend into your house so your neighbors don't think you're a whore. 

19. Your pizza & beer consumption is embarrassing. 

20. Lying to your gynecologist on more than half of the questions she asked you on your latest checkup because you don't want the judgment eyes.

21. Awkwardly having to answer the question from your latest fling, "Did you delete me on Facebook?".  

22. When your favorite bartender says "the last guy you brought in here was a total douche...."

24. When an entire bag of Movie Theater-Style Butter Microwave popcorn is dinner.

25. When you buy extremely large sunglasses on purpose so if you accidentally run into an old flame you hope they don't recognize you.

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Honestly, this has been one of the truest most entertaining posts I've written. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it. Did I miss any #singlegirlproblems? What about you guys - any #singleguyproblems? 

One more just because I am obsessed with ecards but I am sure you can tell :) 

=

I feel compelled to talk about this in light of the two cases being heard this week in Washington, D.C. at the Supreme Court. Yesterday, March 26 the Supreme Court heard arguments over the constitutionality of California's ban on same-sex marriage and today, March 27, the Supreme Court will focus on a challenge to the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

I could go into an amazingly long rant about this...but I won't...okay, kind of...I'll try and keep it short.  

My reasoning for accepting any and all types of love. 

1. Unalienable Human Rights. You remember that one piece of paper that talks about all men being created equally? What was it again? Oh ya, the Declaration of Independence. You know, that piece of paper our country was founded on after fighting in a war to separate from our original oppressors? Just a little history lesson/refresher..."all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness..." So unless you believe that gays, lesbians and transgender people aren't human-beings, then I understand how you would think they don't deserve those rights just like the rest of us. But fortunately, they are human-beings & they deserve every single right just like any other human-being. 

2. Mind your own damn business! If someone is gay, how the hell does that negatively affect me? Simple, it doesn't. Why would some one's happiness makes me feel uncomfortable? If anything, I am a little jealous that they found someone to make them happy.  

                                      

3. Separation of Church & State. Bible lovers? Fine. I grew up extremely Mormon. I still love the Gospel but don't agree with a few fundamental beliefs. Like their view on homosexuals, obviously. So to you Bible lovers, I say this:

 *History Lesson #2: In the Establishment Clause in the first several pronouncements in the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution it proclaims that the government has no place in church & visa-versa. 

*God taught not to judge. That ONLY HE has the right to judge. Not you. So technically if you are judging, you are breaking one of God's proclamations. Who is in the wrong now?

3. Adoption. "But the reason of sex & marriage is to procreate and homosexuals can't naturally procreate!" - There are so many unfortunate children that need loving homes & amazing homosexual couples that want children to love. Did you ever think that God intended homosexual couples to fulfill his wish by adopting those children that need families to love them? It makes perfect sense to me.

4. Being gay IS NOT a choice. Lady Gaga said it best, they were born this way. When did you choose to be straight? Oh you didn't? You were born that way. If you believe that being gay is a choice...why don't you try it out for a while.  Be sure to let me know how that goes for you.

5. Learn from our mistakes. Remember the civil rights era when it was unlawful for a biracial couple to get married. Or how about when women weren't allowed to vote? Times change. You don't say "oh I'm going to a biracial wedding this weekend". I believe that in 20 years, people are going to look back on this time of gay marriage debate and feel like absolute idiots for even discussing it. Normal changes. Accept it and evolve.


6. You can't help who you fall in love with BUT you can definitely choose to be an asshole. You don't choose love. Love chooses you.

7. What about the children? So you may have to (& should) go out of your way to teach your children what gay means. Educate them at an early age what love is. You aren't going to teach them TO BE gay. Instead, you will teach them that the world is colorful; different is not wrong.








8. Marriage is sacred. Straight people haven't quite figured out how to keep that sacred bond. Just think of Britney Spear's 55 hour marriage (still love you B), Dennis Rodman & Carmen Electra's 9 day marriage or Kim Kardashian's 72 day marriage. We legally allow them to get married and socially accept their nonsense...but we won't let a gay couple that have been together for decades get married? WTF?


9. Gay weddings would be fabulous. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It would also bring your state revenue from marriage licenses. Gay marriage actually helps the economy!

10. Gay divorce would be fierce. That is definitely a Jerry Springer/Judge Judy show waiting to happen that I would TiVo religiously. Also bringing more revenue to the economy!


11. Rainbows. Okay, this one is just for me because I am obsessed with rainbows.

So stop drinking the haterade. 

If any two people are stupid enough love each other enough to get married, who are we to say that can't express that love and commitment like any couple.

Open your hearts. Open your minds. 

Can I get an AMEN?

HAPPY MONDAY! 

A funny thing happened this weekend & a blog post is to come but for now, a short & sweet funny for you! 

Funny yes, but also true. 

Yes, I am a feminist. I support equality for women everywhere and openly and vocally stand up for those inalienable rights. 

BUT I also support the theory of a "manly man" and part of that is a man buying me a drink now and again. Don't worry guys, like I said, I support equality. You show me a good time and I for sure will buy you some drinks as well.  

Hope you had a fabulous weekend! <3

I did, can you tell? 

Sunday Funday with one of my best friends, Karissa! She's a little excited about the Giants opening day coming up. I have a feeling I will be seeing a lot of baseballs in my future. As long as they wear those tight pants, I am a happy girl. 

1st Date No-No's

....To celebrate my one-year anniversary of being a single woman....

I decided to compile my list of "1st Date No-No's"

Disclaimer: Written for both guys & gals. Most of these are based on my personal experiences, some are my friends, all are facts, and most should be common sense.
No 1st dates were harmed in the writing of this blog. 
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• DO NOT ask me out via Social Media. I repeat DO NOT ask via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media account... 

• DO anonymously stalk. I suggest to EVERYONE going on a date, especially a blind date, to Internet stalk their date. May sound crazy but you never know who you are going out with. It's simply for safety purposes....okay maybe some other purposes too but I will stick with safety -- Google, Linkdn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube! Do it all! You may find some very important information about your date that you need to know, keep reading I will explain. 
• DO NOT discuss your stalking. If you stalked them, don't act like you know the person on the date! Awkward! Takes all the surprise away and again, you look like a stalker. 

• DO NOT physically stalk. No seriously, people get arrested for that.

• DO eat like a normal person. There was a reason Carl's Jr. burger commercials always have a hot girl eating a messy burger. 

• DO NOT have your phone out on the date or you won't be seeing my name pop up on that screen again. 

• DO NOT ask someone out if you're still in a relationship. Even if you're on a "break", did you not learn anything from Ross & Rachel? Especially if you are engaged or married. Douche.

• DO NOT ask someone out if you're still "in a relationship" on your Facebook/social media sites or if they're still loaded with pictures of your ex or even worse...it says you're still engaged. Again, douche. 

• DO NOT ask someone out if your ex is still living with you. Can you tell I've had some bad luck in this department? 

• Ladies: DO NOT dress like a skank. Your mother was right about the whole imagination thing. If you're wearing a low cut shirt, put some pants on. If you go with an appropriate lengthened shorts or skirt or dress, make sure your boobs aren't falling out. 

• Fellas: DO NOT dress like a douche. If you have any type of rhinestones on, makeup, or a wrinkled T-shirt don't even sit down.  

• DO NOT have a Hangover. You probably are reeking like vodka & sweat & that bright blue bar stamp on your wrist is the trashiest accessory you'll wear. 

• DO NOT get Drunk. Before the date or during the date. Even if you're nervous. DON'T! This is not a game of beer pong. You are not proving anything if you drink too much besides your level of trashiness. Yes, trashiness is a word. 

• DO NOT be a 1-upper. It's annoying & you look like a douche. 

• DO NOT talk about your ex or your mother! Competition much? That's what we're thinking. On the same note...

• DO NOT talk about your trust issues. Welcome to Crazy Town. Population: YOU!

• DO NOT talk about your online dating history. Or ask me if/what online dating websites I've used. Or tell me I'd be really good at online dating....awkward. (P.S. I don't have anything against online dating websites but geeze I'm only 23. I'm not there yet!)

• DO NOT be an asshole to the server. And you better tip him well. Cheap is not cute. 

• LADIES: ALWAYS bring cash. Just in case you need to get out of the date quick or the low-life that asked you out "forgot his wallet". 

• FELLAS: If you asked her out, you pay. Chivalry is not dead. Be a man. And even when your date offers to pay or split the bill. You better decline her invitation. 

• DO NOT get nasty. C'mon....You know what I mean. If you actually want something more than a booty call, don't get it the first night. 

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Hope you enjoyed those! Let me know if I missed any! :)

I am sure there will be a Part II