A Beautiful Disaster.

It's perfectly okay....to not be okay.




How do I know this? Well, the last year of my life have been what I like to call, "a beautiful disaster".




The issues started off small. No biggie. Just a few bad days.

Insomnia is a bitch.

Work is stressful and frustrating.

My boss has gone crazy.

My tire's leaking air.

The electricity in my house completely broke.

My property manager is an asshole.

I don't fit in my fat pants.

So broke that dinner is freezer-burned tofu nuggets I found shoved in the back and some homemade French fries from potatoes with so many eyes, a spider would get scurrrrred.

Small issues that eventually snowballed into a huge one.

Whatever the problem was, I still tried my damndest to keep a smile on my face.
<insert cliché quote here about that girl who smiled on the outside but was the saddest inside>
LAME!




What did I do to feel better? I drank & partied. Partied & drank. Slept. Ate here & there. Shopped. Drank some more. Dragged ass at work just so I could go home and go to the bar. Anything I could to avoid dealing with real issues and still pretend that I was having fun & was happy. It was a vicious cycle.




I never understood addiction until then. I was by no-mean an alcoholic but I definitely had alcoholic tendencies. I was clinically depressed with almost continuous anxiety and felt like shit so I drank to forget the bad. Drinking led to more issues and a waaaaay deeper depression.




I wasn't "okay". (For some reason I think "okay" is the universal word for "I don't want to push you off the edge" but "I don't want to pretend every-thing's hunky-dory anymore".




I wasn't okay. I felt stuck. I felt lame as hell. I felt like every choice I had ever made was wrong. I felt like every choice I was trying to make was too overwhelming. I was losing my identity. MY IDENTITY! The very thing that kept me going....was quickly disappearing. I felt like a stranger in my own body and mind.




Something had to give & it did...just not the way I thought it would.




I found out someone I love had been diagnosed with cancer. Because of his privacy, I won't go into the details but it hit me like a ton of bricks. This person who has loved me since the minute he met me could be gone at any moment. After finding this out, my depression didn't magically disappear; it became worse but after talking to him over time and the rest of my family and friends, I realized only I could change my life. I only have one life and I needed to get my shit together before it was too late.

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Instead of continuing on this story-telling, gravy-train, I want to leave you with some life lessons I learned during this dark time in my life.




-I hit rock bottom and I climbed out of it. I had to take responsibility for my actions, feelings, and thoughts.




-I didn't stop trying to get out of the funk. Every little bit of positivity helps.




-I surrounded myself with people who support my happiness and success. (Note: I did not say people who "loved me". My interpretation of love could be different than yours or theirs.)




-Money isn't worth my sanity and/or happiness. It comes and goes but it will always be around.




-I was my harshest critic and that bitch needed to back up off me.




-Being broke is actually quite humbling!




-My metabolism doesn't support a Top Ramen diet anymore but bananas, yogurt, and some Odawalla Green Machine Juice are cheap and I can live off them for days.....




-When in doubt, work it out. The gym has become my new bar.




-Go back to the basics. By remembering who I was, I used that knowledge to determine who I want to be in the future.




-I stopped comparing myself to others.




-I TRUSTED MY GUT! Even if I was apprehensive, I've been learning to go with my gut. My head over thinks things & my heart is usually stupid.




-I loved. I held on to the love for all the people in my life. I did things even when I didn't want to that I used to love. Zumba, cooking, writing....




-Drinking heavily makes you fat, hungover, sloppy, broke, and extremely embarrassed when you hear all those stories from the other night.... BUT a drink here and there isn't going to kill me.




-I didn't stop looking for the adventure in life. The thrill is the most important thing.




-I made goals. I made goals for that morning (even if it was to just get out of bed before noon)...that day, the next day, that week, that month, that year, & 5 years out. I made goals to accomplish my goals. I wrote lists of my goals & put them everywhere. I'm still making goals, so I can say that I've accomplished the goal.




-(& probably the most simplest) Smile. Smiling is contagious. Smiling, whether you're faking it or not, it heals the soul.

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Thank you for your patience. Thank you for continuing to read this. Even if you don't relate, you might later in life or know someone going through it. Be patient, be kind, to yourself and others.




Try to remember, it's okay to not be okay. It may seem like a disaster, but trust that in the end, it will be beautiful.

Give Away! - Papalote Salsa

This isn't your ordinary salsa people...this is the BEST salsa I've ever had in my life. So much, I buy it in bulk. But of course, like all my blogs, there is a story behind this.

About a month ago I was visiting family-friends in Santa Cruz, California. We randomly realized the local Whole Foods was throwing a customer appreciation celebration with tons of vendors, beer & food tasting, live music & some fun activities. That was a win for us & we probably spent the majority of the day there. It was awesome.

Even more awesome, one of the vendors happened to be Papalote Salsa. At the time, my friends & were like kids at Costco running for the free samples but this salsa hit me like a ton of bricks! I never believed in love at first site but after this, I believe in love at first taste! I was smitten by this salsa!!  Victor Escobedo, Chef & Restaurant owner of Papalote Mexican Grill in San Francisco, California was there telling us all about the salsa but happened to forget to mention how famous and successful he was. Modest Much?! Victor and his brother Miguel are Food Network Stars! They've battled Iron Chef Bobby Flay and have been on Chopped! (I'm a Food Network geek to the fullest.)

Anyway, after me being me and asking for more & more samples and raving about the salsa, Victor smiled and handed me a complimentary jar to take home with me. #WINNING! Seriously made my entire day. Oh, & the best part about this salsa? 100% all natural ingredients, gluten free, vegan & only 30 calories per serving!!

 I've been hooked ever since.

And now I want to get you hooked & spread the salsa loving!
This is my first blog giveaway and won't be my last. All you need to do is:

     1. Make sure you are subscribed to my blog via your e-mail address. (You can find the box along the right side of my blog.)

     2. Follow Call Me Rosie's Facebook Page & the Twitter Page.

     3. Share this blog post either on your Facebook page or Twitter.

     4. Comment on this blog post telling me you've entered & add the link to your Share.

Simple as 1, 2, 3 (4)!

There are three different flavors; House Salsa (black label), Serrano-Tomatillo (green label & my favorite), and Habanero (red label). The winner may choose the type they want. For more info about the three salsas, check out this link. The giveaway will officially close Sept. 13, 2013 and will be shipped soon thereafter.



For those who don't end up winning, you can order the salsa online since they only distribute in California. Check out more information and ordering information on their website.

Looks like I'm not the only lover of this salsa :) Ohhhhh.....

Bloggerversary

Happy Bloggerversary to ME!

I can't believe it's been 1 whole year since I started typing random thoughts, rants & stories.

When I began this blog a year ago I had no idea what it was going to be. I figured it would be some-sort of journal or place where I could clear my head. I didn't even plan on sharing it publicly!

A few of my initial posts have now been deleted but there is one special post named Blogging: Harder than it looks!" that no matter what happens, I will never erase. It's the post that pushed me to share this project on my Facebook for the first time. It was a list of goals I gave myself to complete by the end of 2012 and the second goal on the list is this:

2. Be brave enough to actually post this blog to my Facebook so I may be able to get some followers...If you're reading this, well, I completed my goal.

I can not express how much this simple goal changed my life.

I am so happy that I shared this project. I love writing but what I love more is hearing the responses from you, my readers. Yes, most of you are my friends or family (especially at the beginning) but slowly I started seeing names pop up I didn't recognize. I never thought I would be so excited to strangers names! It's an amazing feeling to hear from you that my crazy thoughts or opinions have helped you or inspired you or made you laugh. I simply love it.

THANK YOU.

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read my blog. Thank you for all the Likes, Shares, Subscribes & Comments. Whether it be publicly on my blog, Facebook, or a personal message sent to me, thank you. Thank you for the support and encouragement. Thank you for the inspiration. Thank you for making me a little less crazy :)

This started out as a project for me...but it quickly became a project for all of you. I couldn't have continued doing this without you.

Happy Bloggerversary!

Love is Beautiful

You heard me correct & yes, you are on the right blog. Love is beautiful.

This past weekend I was privileged to play a part in my sister's love story and I had to share the details.

Katie is an amazing, gorgeous, loving person. She's had her love-life struggles but finally met her knight in shining armor, Mike...who happens to be one of my best friends from high school.

There is somewhat of a theme to their love story. You see, Mike is 10 years younger than Katie...and if waiting that long to find the man of your dreams isn't the perfect definition for patience, I don't know what is!

Now even though I take credit for introducing them, because technically I did, their chemistry sparked the very first time they met back in 2007. I don't think anyone besides the two of them can explain their feelings for each other but they knew it was true. I say that because NO ONE  knew they were dating, talking, flirting well, doing whatever they were doing. They kept it all VERY secret until us family & friends basically put a gun to their heads and told them to admit it. (Patience?) They celebrated their 3 year public anniversary this past week...you do the math.

They've weathered some major storms together but in the end, those two knuckleheads loved each other and made it through.

About a year ago is the first time Mike came to me talking about rings. We searched and planned but nothing seemed to work out just right...until I got news that the band who sings "their song" was coming to Sacramento to perform (The Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah). I knew at that moment exactly why it hadn't worked out in the past...the universe was giving us the perfect opportunity, we just had to be patient. So, Mike and I went to planning.

I'll skip to the good stuff...

Katie knew nothing except that they were celebrating the anniversary with this concert and she needed to pack an overnight bag.

He picked her up and took her to the best hotel downtown. Upon arrival she walked in to see long stem red roses, a potted daisy (her fave flower), rose petals on the bed, strawberries, chocolates, candles, cocktails made, the works! A black town car picked them up for dinner down the street at a delicious restaurant where more roses were waiting for her. Another car after dinner escorted them to the concert. Katie, Mike, and some close friends and family met them there to celebrate.

The concert was awesome. We sat in a comfy booth and enjoyed the music. As the singers left the stage, the ENCORE chants were loud and for their last performance, Hey There Delilah began. The lead singer, Tom Higgenson, stopped the music. He looked around and finally said, "So is there a Katie & Mike in the room?" At this point, Mike was shaking, Katie was oh so confused, and we were all jumping around screaming like crazy people cause we knew the amazingness that was about to occur. Tom looks at Mike and says, "So Mike, you gotta question to ask?" Mike dropped to one knee with the ring in his hand, Katie shook her head yes and kissed him so hard you thought she was going to knock him over. We all celebrated with champagne and Tom found us after the show to personally congratulate them.

It was perfect.



I felt so much love that night. I am so happy for my sister and future brother in law. I am so glad to see my sister happy and in love like she has always wished for.

After planning this entire thing with Mike and working to execute it perfectly, I was surprisingly reminded that love is beautiful. True, real love is beautiful. It's out there but you have to be patient to find the real deal. You can't jump into something or feel pressured. The right thing will happen at the right time. If you're lucky enough to have found love, hold on it to. Work as hard as possible to keep it. And cherish it. Some people will never have the blessing to feel that.

Congratulations Mike & Katie. I love you both.

Special thanks to Tom & all the Plain White T's for making this so memorable. And to Ace of Spades for all your special help organizing this amazing proposal.

And special thanks to Mike for asking me to help on this very special day. It will be in my heart forever.

REJECTED!

Being rejected is not easy. Neither is being the one rejecting.

Rejection is tough on anyone and it's really not fun telling someone you're not interested. Feelings & crap. But I realized today, that some situations are worse then others. 

In this case, a nice looking man approached me while I was walking to the bank. (He was attractive but not my type at all.) I noticed he was wearing some-sort of uniform but I didn't know exactly what it was....until he told me. I'll call him Frank. 

"Hi, I'm Frank & I'm a firefighter and  I couldn't help but say hi to you and I wanted to know if you would like to get some coffee with me sometime."

Well Frank, now that you deliberately told me you might be saving my life in the future or putting out a fire in my home one day, I guess I can't just ignore you now can I? 

Firefighter, check! But who else do you kind of have to tiptoe around?

• Well, in the same line of a firefighter, I really wouldn't want to piss off a cop. Talk about an ego. And believe me, I've had my share of parking tickets, etc., I'd like to keep my money in my pocket, not the States. 

• What about your bartender/server? I've been on the other end of this before cocktailing and that is one person you DON'T want to piss off. Bad service, poorly made drinks/food, or even worse, they could just 86 you out of that place! (I've done it before, I should know.)

• I'll definitely add your I.T. guy to this list. Think about it...he's the master computer fixer but in the opposite occasion, he could make your technological life a living hell. 

• How about your banker? You know that one guy who gets to see & have some control of how much money you have in your account?...Yikes. 

• Another person you really don't want to reject coldly is your property manager/real estate agent. Been there, done that too....I wonder if that dishwasher ever got fixed??? 

• Can't help but add a professor to this list too. Repeat after me..."grades are important...grades ARE important"! 

• And then there is your boss....no explanation needed. 

NOW! I'm not saying you have to date them or even give them your number if they ask...but just think twice about the way your reject them. Breathing fire might not be the best idea in this situation. I know I do. 

Did I forget any? 

Weiner, Weiner, Weiner

As per request of a reader, this format is align left, just for you!

If you're head isn't stuck in the sand, you should have heard about the sexting scandal Former Congressman and now second-time New York Mayoral nominee Anthony Weiner has been apart of. Weiner resigned from his Congressional role in June 2011 due to the sex scandal and now almost a year later, in-midst of his latest Mayoral race, another sexting scandal broke. This time under the alias "Carlos Danger".

What the hell dude, Carlos Danger, really? Like Weiner isn't good enough... 

I have a few issues with this Weiner guy. Although, he is definitely not the first politician to be involved in a sex scandal...

(President Bill Clinton, Mark Sanford, Larry Craig, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, & most recently San Diego Mayor Bob Filner to name a few.)

...he may be the first politician to credit his own foreshadowing as justification. Back in 2011 when he publicly spoke about the sexts, he stated that he believed more pictures would most likely be released. Obviously he was right & now he's attempting to use that public statement defensively, with little to no apology. Even worse, in recent interviews, he STILL states that this may not be the end in this saga. What a creep. 

Also, have you seen his wife?? She is smoking hot & super smart! (Especially for him....just saying.) She's been an aide to Former Secretary of State Hilary Clinton for years! How he thought he could get away with these sexual shenanigans is absurd. And my main point, as an American with right to vote for my public officials, is how can I trust you when YOUR WIFE that you supposedly love can't even trust you? I wonder if she will stay with him...only time will tell. Personally, I hope not. I hope she moves on with her life and her successful political career and becomes Chief of Staff to 2016 President Hilary Clinton. :) 

Finally, my biggest point, there is no way a man with so many indiscretions can judge and run a city to his best ability since obviously he doesn't comprehend right vs. wrong. I hope New Yorkers realize this.

This guy is either a sex addict or an attention whore... Either way, his choices aren't just affecting him or his family. He wants the "the keys to the city" & I believe he doesn't deserve them. So much power & control should not be in the hands of a man who doesn't have control of himself or his family.

He could have played this whole thing so different to earn back some of respect but instead he continues to spit out nonsense. This story seriously gets worse & worse every single day. Especially since the release of his Communication's Directors rant calling a former intern and slutbag, cunt, and worse. By the way, this was female on female hate. I wrote about this already so I won't go into too much detail but you can find that post here.

At the end of the day, be a good person, be a good role model, be a good American politician, be a good husband & father. Take responsibility for your actions. Step down from your race & start looking for another day job.



End. Rant.

Timing is a bitch.

...I couldn't agree more....

[I have been a victim of "bad timing" more than once in my life.] 

One of my multi-year relationships thrived on the concept of bad timing. 

I would bet my first born child on the fact that if the timing were good, or at least consistent, we would NOT have "been together" for as long as we were...And once our timing was right, or so we thought, we realized, our relationship wasn't. 

& that was the end of that.

Another case of bad timing recently just slapped me in the face. Actually, it kinda felt like a stomach punch to be honest. Whatever it was, it sucks/ed. 

Long story short. I have this awesome guy friend. We've always been good friends but we're not-so-secretly in love with each other have talked about wanting more from each other and even tried to escalate our relationship more than once but it just never worked out
...because of bad timing....

He had a girlfriend or I had a boyfriend or I was on a single hype or he lived out of town.

For whatever the reason, we never got the chance to make our relationship work the way we both knew we could. 

Well, my time ran out. He just broke the news...he's engaged and as selfish as it is, I feel kinda cheated. 

I know his fiance is wonderful girl. Seriously, if she got this guy to propose, I know she's awesome and I really do wish them a happy life together.

BUT DAMN! 

At the bottom of the Ben & Jerry's tub, I came to the cliche conclusion that life is too short to not tell people how you feel. Maybe if we just acted instead of finding the perfect moment, our lives would be different. Maybe if I ended things sooner with Bad Relationship, I would have been single and my timing would have been right with The One that Got Away. Maybe this case of bad timing is going to set me up to a wonderful new adventure that wouldn't have happened otherwise.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
But I guess that's life right? I'm going to wrap up all those good memories, tie them in a little bow & mentally file them away so I can start making new ones. 

At the end of the day, I'm sincerely happy he is in love and is happy.