Let me first say, I don't believe many girls are actual bitches.
Although, they may most definitely can have bitchy qualities.
So, you may or may not have seen my last blog post teaser "Girls are Bitches because...". Let me explain.
I was sitting around having a delicious, casual dinner with a guy friend and we were talking about how rude some girls can be (he is playing the dating game right now) and I quickly jumped to the conclusion, it's because their last boyfriend was a douche.
Now, I thought the world was going to stop with the sharp look he gave me. Rethinking the words I just vomited out, I remembered how nice and genuine of a guy he is and how his ex-girlfriend was the "douche" in the relationship.
So, you may or may not have seen my last blog post teaser "Girls are Bitches because...". Let me explain.
I was sitting around having a delicious, casual dinner with a guy friend and we were talking about how rude some girls can be (he is playing the dating game right now) and I quickly jumped to the conclusion, it's because their last boyfriend was a douche.
Now, I thought the world was going to stop with the sharp look he gave me. Rethinking the words I just vomited out, I remembered how nice and genuine of a guy he is and how his ex-girlfriend was the "douche" in the relationship.
Conversation flowed, as did the sangria, and the "Vicious Circle" was created.
STORY TIME!
"Once upon a time, there was a young girl and a young boy that fell in love and wanted a happily ever after. At least one of them did. Perhaps it was the young boy, but it could easily have been the young girl. For one reason or another, maybe parent's martial issues, maybe the pressure to be cool, the craving for empowerment or even personal insecurities, the young couple wandered down a destructive, unhealthy relationship path.
As the uncertainties progressed, one side of the relationship became arrogant, annoyed, even dangerous, while the other anxious, depressed, vulnerable. Both were desperate for something.
Though this relationship became harmful, neither one of the sides could end the commitment. They believed this was love. They did not understand that pain was not synonymous to love.
So after an insane amount of hurt. They finally parted. Their devotion was over but the pain remained.
This is when the vow to never be vulnerable began. From that day forward, the vicious cycle was a reality."
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[Has this happened to you?]
Maybe a little different? Maybe a little more or less dramatic?
You were the "nice" one in the relationship and your heart got trampled on? Maybe you were the "mean" one and hurt someone else. No matter who you were, it changed you. Moving on to your next relationship, you knew exactly what you didn't want, cause you just went through it. So you did the opposite. Well, that doesn't always work either. The more and more you're hurt, or choose not to love, you become this stone-hearted person, or a "bitch".
Should we change this?
I think we should all be cautious. Understand red-flags in relationships or even friendships. Have your make-it and/or break-its and be honest with yourself (and the other person) when something happens.
Being careful doesn't have to mean cold or bitchy...just like being nice doesn't have to mean weak or naive.
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Now, my close friends can vouch for me, I'm really bad at being vulnerable. I believe that it's from the insanity of a past relationship. THANK GOD, I've been able to move on successfully and forgive our sophomoric relationship but while I look at the future, I still struggle with being exposed.
All I can say, is I am sincerely trying to break my vicious cycle. I know one day I will.
I trust myself. I trust my gut.
I'm working on trusting my heart and trusting someone else's.
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This is probably one of the mushiest posts I've had. Let's not do that again for awhile k?
