1st Date No-No's

....To celebrate my one-year anniversary of being a single woman....

I decided to compile my list of "1st Date No-No's"

Disclaimer: Written for both guys & gals. Most of these are based on my personal experiences, some are my friends, all are facts, and most should be common sense.
No 1st dates were harmed in the writing of this blog. 
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• DO NOT ask me out via Social Media. I repeat DO NOT ask via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media account... 

• DO anonymously stalk. I suggest to EVERYONE going on a date, especially a blind date, to Internet stalk their date. May sound crazy but you never know who you are going out with. It's simply for safety purposes....okay maybe some other purposes too but I will stick with safety -- Google, Linkdn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube! Do it all! You may find some very important information about your date that you need to know, keep reading I will explain. 
• DO NOT discuss your stalking. If you stalked them, don't act like you know the person on the date! Awkward! Takes all the surprise away and again, you look like a stalker. 

• DO NOT physically stalk. No seriously, people get arrested for that.

• DO eat like a normal person. There was a reason Carl's Jr. burger commercials always have a hot girl eating a messy burger. 

• DO NOT have your phone out on the date or you won't be seeing my name pop up on that screen again. 

• DO NOT ask someone out if you're still in a relationship. Even if you're on a "break", did you not learn anything from Ross & Rachel? Especially if you are engaged or married. Douche.

• DO NOT ask someone out if you're still "in a relationship" on your Facebook/social media sites or if they're still loaded with pictures of your ex or even worse...it says you're still engaged. Again, douche. 

• DO NOT ask someone out if your ex is still living with you. Can you tell I've had some bad luck in this department? 

• Ladies: DO NOT dress like a skank. Your mother was right about the whole imagination thing. If you're wearing a low cut shirt, put some pants on. If you go with an appropriate lengthened shorts or skirt or dress, make sure your boobs aren't falling out. 

• Fellas: DO NOT dress like a douche. If you have any type of rhinestones on, makeup, or a wrinkled T-shirt don't even sit down.  

• DO NOT have a Hangover. You probably are reeking like vodka & sweat & that bright blue bar stamp on your wrist is the trashiest accessory you'll wear. 

• DO NOT get Drunk. Before the date or during the date. Even if you're nervous. DON'T! This is not a game of beer pong. You are not proving anything if you drink too much besides your level of trashiness. Yes, trashiness is a word. 

• DO NOT be a 1-upper. It's annoying & you look like a douche. 

• DO NOT talk about your ex or your mother! Competition much? That's what we're thinking. On the same note...

• DO NOT talk about your trust issues. Welcome to Crazy Town. Population: YOU!

• DO NOT talk about your online dating history. Or ask me if/what online dating websites I've used. Or tell me I'd be really good at online dating....awkward. (P.S. I don't have anything against online dating websites but geeze I'm only 23. I'm not there yet!)

• DO NOT be an asshole to the server. And you better tip him well. Cheap is not cute. 

• LADIES: ALWAYS bring cash. Just in case you need to get out of the date quick or the low-life that asked you out "forgot his wallet". 

• FELLAS: If you asked her out, you pay. Chivalry is not dead. Be a man. And even when your date offers to pay or split the bill. You better decline her invitation. 

• DO NOT get nasty. C'mon....You know what I mean. If you actually want something more than a booty call, don't get it the first night. 

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Hope you enjoyed those! Let me know if I missed any! :)

I am sure there will be a Part II 

My Single Story - Diamond Ring

A few people have asked me about my story. Why I am single. I found a song today that perfectly describes a time in my life when I was at a crossroad and found myself ultimately walking the path alone. 

Diamond Ring, Sheryl Crow - Detours, 2008

I felt pressured to take my relationship with my long time boyfriend to the next step. We had been and lived together for multiple years and I loved him. We were comfortable. 

I thought I wanted a ring. A diamond ring. 

That Christmas morning when I opened my gift from him and saw a beautiful diamond ring staring back at me, I was in shock. It was a promise ring, not an engagement ring, but it was still a promise. 

We've all heard about those "near death" stories where your life supposedly flashes before your eyes. Well, that was happening as I was entranced with those diamonds. I saw good times and bad times. Then I flash-forward to all those life experiences that I was not going to have because of my commitment. 

As hard as it was, that ring woke me up. Brought me back to reality. 

I loved him but I needed to completely love myself before I was ready to give my all.

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Diamond Ring 

We made love all day
In our little hide away

But I blew up our love nest
By making one little request

Diamond ring
Diamond ring
Don't mean anything
Diamond ring
Diamond ring
Should not mean a thing

You could say I do
Hide your negative reviews
You love me you say
But you can't even face the day

Diamond ring
Diamond ring
Don't mean anything
Diamond ring
Diamond ring
Should not change,

Some say love is blind
But I say love is only in the mind

Diamonds may be sweet
But to me they just bring on cold feet

Someday you'll be like me
With someone who just wants to be free


Diamond ring
Diamond ring
Fucks up everything
Diamond ring
Diamond ring
Should not mean a thing.

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I am BLESSED to say we are still good friends but for right now, just friends. I love him. I would do anything for him and I know he would do the same for me. We are living separate but happy lives. Separating was the right decision. We found ourselves again and we found our own independence. 

(fun times, just friends) 

If I told you I didn't think about that diamond ring, I would be lying. 

If I told you I didn't put it on my finger once and a awhile, I would be lying. 

...But perfectly lonely is where it and I will stay... 

"Jumpers"

Jump·er: 

n 

1. An individual recently out of a relationship or non-platonic commitment who rebounds to another relationship with little or no time in between.

Yep...I just did that. I need to add that definition to Urban Dictionary pronto before anyone else gets a hold of it.

Let me first say that I hope I don't offend anyone by this post...but if I do...it's my opinion and my opinion is that you're nuts. Second, if you know me & all of a sudden you feel like I'm talking about you, you should already have heard this from me in person. Whether you decided to listen to me or not is your choice and I will love you & support you no matter what. Unless you're not my friend and then you can refer to my first statement....nuts.  

Now that's out of the way, let me explain. You ever have that friend...girl or guy...who just can't stay single? They literally jump from one relationship to another? Everyone has at least one & I wish I could scream it from the top of the Empire State Building - I DON'T GET YOU!

Unless it's that, "can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence world series kinda love" why do it? Don't you remember how bad it just hurt to get out of that other relationship? You were someone's partner, their other half...how you can rearrange your life all over again to fit a new person's?

Maybe you think it's easier with someone else. Maybe you're afraid to be alone. Maybe you don't even know you're a serial dater.

Please know I'm not judging you. I truly don't understand. After I broke up with my last very serious relationship I was devastated. I loved him but it wasn't right. I couldn't imagine jumping into another relationship.

What I did learn after the break up is how much I LOVE the freedom of being single! I could seriously go on and on about all my favorite things but that's annoying.

What I really want to know is how you feel about jumpers and if you've ever jumped? Was it the right choice? Did you regret not having enough single time or was it the best relationship of your life? Maybe I'm the one with the issue and I should take the stick out of my....sorry mom....

Moral of the story: We are stronger than we think. You can be independent without being lonely. I promise. Take a little bit of extra time in between those relationships. Try and find happiness within yourself before looking for someone else to make you happy. Know your self-worth and love yourself. If anything, I think you will be able to make your future partner happier if you do. If they really like you, they can slow the hell down. If they're impatient, well, do you really want an impatient boyfriend anyway??

Single Holidays/Family Traditional - Fondue Recipe

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM MARLEY & ME!!



This year has been particularly hard. Wonder why? Well, it's the first year I have been single in over four years. It's definitely a different feeling not sharing the Christmas magic with someone you love.

Fortunately, family & friends have made this holiday season just as magical!

No need to be a Grinch! Being single during the holiday are just as great! && to prove it, I made another one of my famous lists! (I love lists, can you tell yet?)

A SINGLE CHRISTMAS IS GREAT BECAUSE....

1. You get to spend your money on family & friends! - I have a huge family so instead of buying everyone gifts, we draw names. This year I drew my second eldest brother, his wife, son & two daughters! I focused on what they would really enjoy for gifts! It was so rewarding when they opened their presents!
2. Also all that time & energy you usually spend on a boy, you can spend with your loved ones.
3. Self-reflection. Take this time to really think about all your blessings in life, all the positiveness you can make and you have.
4. Remind yourself of the true Christmas story. The one that dates back to the manger and the angel, Mary, Joseph & that sweet baby Jesus!
5. You can decorate your house however you want!
6. && blast Christmas music & dance around the house & nobody can stop you!
7. You can lounge around in your sweats the entire Christmas day!
8. Christmas drinks! Have another, nobody to judge!
9. Don't forget all that food! Sweets, breakfasts, dinners, all the snacks in between. You don't have to share with anyone! More for you!
10. More self-indulgence? Why not! Go ahead & buy yourself something really nice. Wrap it up and open it on Christmas. You're allowed to spoil yourself a bit.

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FAMILY TRADITION - FONDUE RECIPE

My favorite thing about the holiday season is the family traditions we've made throughout the years.

A tradition we have always had was to make cheese fondue on Christmas Eve. My parents said that they date this back to a few of the first holiday seasons they spent together & they just celebrated their 40th Wedding Anniversary, so you know this recipe is delicious! Warning: this is not healthy, at all, but sometimes, ya just gotta indulge!

Ingredients:

• 1 large box of Velveeta cheese
• 2/3 package of dry Lipton onion soup mix
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 15 oz can of tomato sauce 
• French bread - for dipping
• Veggies - for dipping
• Anything else dippable! - Dippable? Is that a word?

Directions:

1. Mix it all together in a crock pot
2. Keep on low or "keep warm" heat
3. Dip & enjoy!  

I'm telling you, this is delicious!









Relationship Season! - AKA: Winter

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN PEOPLE....

Sweatpants are in & bikinis are out! Soup, fireplace, hot chocolate...and boyfriend weather! Forget Thanksgiving or Christmas...'Tis the relationship season! 

DISCLAIMER: No Offense! If you just made it "Facebook Official", I wish you the best! But around April/May...if you change that status again, know you were struck by Cupid's twin brother, Winter Lovin'.

I admit that I have participated in this love affair. It's freakin' freezing & stormy outside! Who wouldn't want someone to snuggle up to on those Friday nights when you don't want to face winter. -Even though I have always thought it was nice to have the alcohol-induced-jacket to keep you warm.-

When did this phenomenon begin? Is it human nature? A survival instinct?

I mean damn, I don't want to take out my trash in the summer, but when it's pouring outside, you've got to be kidding me! If I could sweet talk a man in my life to do those little things when it's especially freezing, I would! I just think the whole seasonal relationship is a messy dance. The Honeymoon Phase is blazing hotter than than fireplace but as the fire dwindles...will your relationship also? Is it worth it?

I know some people who are consistently in winter-relationships with the same person, the same time, every year. After their slutty Halloween costume is packed away, they pull out their "I <3 my boy/girlfriend" sweater. (P.S. - I love a good slutty Halloween costume but that's a different blog post entirely.)

In  my personal experience, I would vote no. Once springs rolls (spring rolls, yum!) around, couples start itching for personal space, the arguments heat up as the weather does and thoughts of summer time are in the near future. Relationships take a lot of time, emotion, effort...all things that I don't give up unless I know it's serious. As much as I would love a boo-thing to keep me warm on those nights in the house, that is what Marley is for. Take up a hobby, try something new, date lots of people!! One of my favorite things to do is cook new recipes for a group of friends. It's a perfect excuse to invite people over for a Friday Night-In instead of going out.

You can do it people! I believe in you! Don't say yes to a relationship because you feel like it is a winter accessory...say yes because you mean it and want the relationship to go further.

Who knows, maybe I'm the crazy one. If you asked the famous & legen...wait for it...dary Dean Martin, he probably would say I am.....for as he sang:

But though the snow is gone, the romance lingers on
and those who said it didn't stand a chance
will know when they see us together
that love is not controlled by the weather
And all of our summers, we'll have our winter romance.


What do you think? Are you/have you been in a winter-romance? Tell me your thoughts & experiences!

Perfectly Lonely Playlist

Music is part of my soul. It always has been. Through song, dance, instrumental... whatever it may be. It has made my life better.

I think everyone can relate to that feeling when a certain song comes on and it empowers you...with joy, sadness, nostalgia, strength. Whatever it may be...music triggers something in our brains that makes us feel a certain way. 

So, when I found myself broken up with my longtime boyfriend, moving out of the house we made our home and finding myself alone WAY more, music came to the rescue. 

I went onto my iPhone/Spotify and made myself a PERFECTLY LONELY PLAYLIST. A playlist that encourages me, gives me strength, and reminds me that I am okay being single, alone. John Mayer said it best, being perfectly lonely. 

So, I thought I would share it with you! These songs struck a key in my heart and I hope they help you too. (Warning: There is no consistency with genre except they are good "Single Lady" songs!) You can find my playlist on Spotify under "Perfectly Lonely" or search Emily Schneider. 

Superwoman - Alicia Keys 

A Woman's Worth - Alicia Keys

A Brand New Me - Alicia Keys

Girl On Fire, Inferno Version - Alicia Keys, Nicki Minaj

Body & Soul - Amy Winehouse, Tony Bennett

Love Is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse

Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse

You Know I'm No Good - Amy Winehouse

Time To Say Goodbye - Andrea Bocelli, Sarah Brightman

Don't Tell Me - Avril Lavigne 

Irreplaceable - Beyonce

Listen - Beyonce

Me, Myself, & I - Beyonce

Single Ladies - Beyonce

Hit 'Em Up Style (Ooops!) - Blu Cantrell 

Don't Keep Me Waiting - Britney Spears

Out From Under - Britney Spears

Overprotected - Britney Spears

Selfish - Britney Spears

Stronger - Britney Spears

Trouble For Me - Britney Spears

I Will Survive - Cake (or Gloria Gaynor for the original but Cake is my fave) 

Good Girl - Carrie Underwood 

Last Name - Carrie Underwood 

Army Of Me - Christina Aguilera

Circles - Christina Aguilera

Glam - Christina Aguilera

I Hate Boys - Christina Aguilera

Monday Morning - Christina Aguilera

Not Myself Tonight - Christina Aguilera

Prima Donna - Christina Aguilera

Stronger Than Ever - Christina Aguilera

Vanity - Christina Aguilera

Just A Fool - Christina Aguilera & Blake Shelton

Jar Of Hearts - Christina Perri 

Like A Boy - Ciara

Bad Habit - Destiny's Child 

Emotion - Destiny's Child 

Girl - Destiny's Child 

Say My Name - Destiny's Child 

Won't Back Down - Eminem & P!nk

Let Loose - Expendables

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machines

I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem) - Good Charlotte

Video - India.Arie

Breakdown - Jack Johnson 

Imagine - Jack Johnson

99 Problems - Jay-Z 

Assassin - John Mayer

Edge of Desire - John Mayer

Friends, Lovers or Nothing - John Mayer

Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer

In Repair - John Mayer

Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer

Who Says - John Mayer

Stronger - Kanye West

To The World - Kanye West, R. Kelly, Teyana Taylor 

The One - Kanye West, Big Sean, 2 Chainz, Marsha Ambrosius
Stupid Boy - Keith Urban

Caught Out There - Kelis 

Dark Side - Kelly Clarkson OR Glee Cast 

Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson 

Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) - Kelly Clarkson

Gimme What I Want - Keri Hilson

Pretty Girl Rock - Keri Hilson
C'Mon - Ke$ha
Dirty Love - Ke$ha, Iggy Pop 

Erase Me - Kid Cudi, Kanye West

With Or Without You - Kina Grannis

Goodbye - Kristinia DeBarge

Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill 

Fuck You - Lily Allen 

Knock 'Em Out - Lily Allen 

The Fear - Lily Allen 

How To Hate - Lil Wayne & T. Pain 

Dedication To My Ex (Miss That) - Lloyd & Lil Wayne & Andre 300

Another Night - Mac Miller 

What It Feels Like For A Girl - Madonna OR Glee Cast 

Better That We Break - Maroon 5
If I Never See Your Face Again - Maroon 5

Bitch - Meredith Brooks
Amnesia - MoZella
Let's Stop Calling It Love - MoZella
Light Years Away - MoZella (Pretty sad one, beware)
Uh-Uh - MoZella
You Don't Love Anyone But Yourself - MoZella 

Single - Natasha Bedingfield

Miss Independent - Ne-Yo

Maneater - Nelly Furtado 

Hella Good - No Doubt

Just A Girl - No Doubt

There You Go - P!nk 

U+Ur Hand - P!nk
Hell On Heels - Pistol Annies

Any Man Of Mine - Shania Twain 

Man! I Feel Like A Woman! - Shania Twain 

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain 

Young, Wild & Free - Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa
Lucky You - the JaneDear girls
Wildflower - the JaneDear girls

Whiskey Girl - Toby Keith 

He Wasn't Man Enough - Toni Braxton 

Fed Up - Through The Roots 

Independent - Webbie

The Thrill - Wiz Khalifa 

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Wow! That was a bigger list than I thought! -- Did I miss any of your favorites?? 
- Besides Taylor Swift. Sorry I have a personal vendetta against her. Another post on that later -

SINGLE

A tale as old as time...

Okay, not really. Maybe it's just the STORY OF MY LIFE. At least lately. 

To escape hurting anyone's feelings, I won't name names or places but I recently attended a "function" and it was the first time in a long time I felt judged for being single. 

I was surrounded by young newlyweds and mothers all chatting about their "one on the way" or how amazing their husband's new job was...  Now, let me tell you, I do not get butthurt, hurt feelings, feel awkward usually at all. And to be honest, I didn't really feel like that during the situation. I was completely comfortable at the time, chatting it up, playing with the little ones running around. But now that a couple day have passed, I just can't shake the thought, "why am I single, why haven't I found <the one>, is it me?" 

Then....the most amazing thing happened. I SNAPPED MYSELF OUT OF IT! What was I thinking? Not to toot my own horn, but I am loving the independent, single me! I compiled a little list of why I love being single...

CAUTION: before reading this, if you are NOT single and in a happy marriage, relationship, engagement, crush....I don't judge you. I love that you are happy! Everyone is different and right now, I am completely satisfied being in a relationship with myself. And well, Marley :) 

1. I get to do whatever I want! 

Quick trip out of town? I don't have to run it past anyone. I can just pick up my stuff and go! Wine for dinner? Hell yes! Sleep in until noon? You better believe it! No makeup? No problem! Dance around my house in my underwear acting like an idiot? Everyday!  

2. I'm learning to do more "man" things. 

If you know me, I am all about female independence (hence the blog)...but there are some things in life I just don't like to do. And well, if a man is around, he can totally do it for me & I'm not mad at all. Fortunately, I grew up with a Dad who is the epitome  of a manly-man, so most of this stuff I know how to do, I just choose not to. But now, I am proud that I can do it! Like changing my license cover on my car (Go Cowboys!), and fixing the garbage disposal, and killing that pesky spider above my door. 

3. I get the WHOLE bed to myself. 

No explanation needed. #winning 

4. No judgement for my nightlight!

I do sleep with a nightlight. And I won't ever quit. 

5. I'm living life through my eyes, my brain, my body and my soul. 

I am learning more about myself as an independent person than I ever have. I am learning my own habits, listening to my personal thoughts and doing things I may not have done if I was with someone. 

I am truly loving me. 

Now, like I said before, if you are in a relationship, I am happy for you. I hope one day, I will  be there too, all googly eyed and lovey dovey. I know there is someone out there for me. My lobster, my other half, my partner. But for right now, I am so content with me & Mar. And I hope my "future partner" is happy out there finding himself too. So when we do meet, no strings attached or heavy baggage will hold our love down. 

What do you love about being single? What do you love about being in a relationship?